Good-bye, February

I can't think of anything to write, but figured I'd check in anyway because I have diarrhea of the mouth (and fingers), so I'm sure I'll fill up the space somehow! Guess I can give some updates:

The woman at the nursing school who insisted on calling me "Susie" until I gave her attitude now just refers to me by my last name. Seems an amiable compromise, so we're cool. I like her now!

The neighborhood dogs are still roaming. Had a bulldog follow me and my dog the other day.

Saw "Crazy Heart" the other day... it's waaaay slow and exhausting, but Jeff Bridges is amazing in it. I was indifferent towards Bridges until I saw him in "A Door in the Floor" a few years ago, a beautiful and heartbreaking movie (Kim Basinger is also in it), and he blew me away (they both did)... I'm a huge fan of his now. He doesn't disappoint in Crazy Heart.

But now, to the chagrin of my sister, I downloaded one of the (country music) songs he plays in the movie and I'm playing his "Fallin' & Flyin'" song on repeat- FOREVER. You know, the one with the chorus that goes:

"funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’

for a little while"

DOUBLE POSTING

I know I just posted, but I'm so full of angst and rage, that I just had to post again!

My dog and I were quasi-attacked by a German Shepherd today. My sister and I probably have an encounter with a stray or escaped dog about 3 times a month- each. It's so ridiculous. Our neighborhood is just teeming with them. One time I had to hop on top of an SUV with my pooch to escape a mean looking pitbull who wouldn't leave us alone. But usually I can't tell where the dog lives, so I can't do much about it. I call animal control, but they can't help unless I have a specific address or person to point them in the right direction.

But today was different. A German Shephered barreled out of his yard like a bat out of hell, through the open gate and made a beeline for my dog. Luckily our dog wears a harness and so I was able to just yank it up and grab her in just the nick of time, put her on the roof of a car and started yelling at the dog to get back. Then the dog started trotting right up to me, looking like "I could take this bitch out". I wasn't really afraid for myself because I could tell she really only wanted to get to my dog. But I hopped on the car, too, and started screaming. A man came and helped me, and the dog went back to his yard. I called animal control and drove back like an hour later. Sure enough, a woman in a brown uniform was giving the woman a copy of some sort of paperwork and gesturing to the fence. I don't know if it was just a citation or an actual ticket, but the woman looked worried and scared. Good for her. I could care less what that lazy, negligent woman was feeling. I was SO happy to finally be able to do something proactive about this situation. The house was right across the street from an elementary school, so it's good they got on it fast.

This neighborhood better watch out. My sister has Animal Control's number memorized. And I have it on my cell phone. We're ALWAYS calling them. They probably have our numbers memorized by now. I've never ever experienced this level of negligence in my life. This is horrible of me, but I'm guessing it's because I live in a sort of poor area. Not that all poor people are lazy. Some of them are the hardest workers in the world. But a lot of them are lazy. It's either that or the people who live here, who are largely immigrants, come from countries where roaming animals is kind of the norm. Well, they better learn fast and acclimate because I am all up in their shit and I will drop a dime on their negligent asses in a heartbeat. I'm really not trying to see my little chihuahua eaten up by their Pitbulls and German Shepherds and Boxers and what not.

THEN I went to drop off some paperwork to the nurse's office at the school I'm attending this Spring. I gave my stuff to the head of the department/ one of the instructors. She read my paperwork, and said my full name. Let's say it's Susan.

Woman: Susan Smith? You go by Susie?

Me: No, I hate Susie.

Woman: But Susie is the short version of Susan. Why not go by Susie?

Me: Some people call me Sue, but I actually prefer Susan. And I hate Susie.

Woman: Really?

Me: Yeah. There's like five people who call me Susie, and I let them get away with it because they always have. But anyone else, no. I don't like being called Susie. Everyone calls me Susan.

Woman: You don't like Susie, huh? Susie's nice.

Me: No. Susan's fine.

Woman: Guess it's just one of those things you need to learn to love to hate.

Excuse me? Maybe I read her wrong (HOPING SO, but my stomach twisted when she said it and looked at me, so I don't think so), but basically, it sounded like she was going to go on ahead and call me Susie, regardless of my wishes. I wanted to put my boot so far up this bitch's ass. All I could say was, "Oh my God. I don't think so. Thank you. Take care." Then I left.

Today was another reminder that I do NOT do well in the real world. It's full of passive-aggressive bitches and assholes. I'll take slimey, sleazy L.A. to this any day. At least Hollywood types know they're assholes and you can treat them accordingly. I can restrain myself and be polite, but I'll be damned if I'm going to kowtow to their silly demands. If today's interaction is any indication of the rest of this semester, or hospital life in general, shoot me now. I don't think I'll last long.

I think I need to go back to one of my first jobs I had cocktail waitressing in LA. I miss my co-workers. One of them would pour drinks on any guy who gave her shit. And the other one got in a fight with management, told him to fuck off and left without notice with her cash till for the night. She figured he wasn't going to send her a paycheck, and that was about the equivalent of it. That was so cowboy of her. Cowgirl.

Basically I just don't like taking shit from some middle management fuck who doesn't even have the decency to call me by my proper and requested name.

Stuff

I feel like a human pin cushion. I had to get four shots on Friday for the CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) program I'm in. Clinicals will start soon, and they have to ensure that all of the hospital staff and students aren't exposing any viruses to the patients. The shots were intramuscular (inter?), so they're the kinds that hurt. My arms are still sore!

Classes got pushed back to next week because a special grant came up that will help defray the cost of the course. If I were to go to a private college, it would cost 2k. But at a community college, where I'm enrolled, it's 1k. The grant will pay for $800 of that (including uniform, equipment and texts). I'll find out if I get the grant this week. That would be a huge help!

Saw an old friend on Saturday. I ran up to LA to buy some new buttons and swung by her place on my way back. I haven't seen her in like six months even though she's probably my best friend in LA. It was so great to see her! We totally think alike and have the same thought processes and life experiences... it's like she's my long-lost mental twin. LA can be a hard town and it's nice to have a bosom buddy here. I've been second-guessing myself a lot, but hearing her opinion on my experiences really validated a few things I've been feeling.

The rain is back. I have sewing this week (the club meets once a month), and am looking forward to it!

Irrelevant: I think of George Carlin's "Stuff" bit every time I hear the word "stuff," which is kind of a lot. It totally makes me laugh to myself. "My stuff is stuff. Your stuff is crap."

Happy Chinese New Year!

All is well.

Celebrated Valentine's Day with the BF on Saturday. Since it's a three day weekend, we had a kid-free Friday and Saturday, and then he had his son on Sunday and Monday.

It was nice. He loved the gift I gave him. A few months ago, he had a slogan idea for a t-shirt, so I secretly had my friend design a picture/logo thing, and then I had it printed on a t-shirt for him. He has a lot of fun ideas, but he never follows through on them, so I thought he would like it if I did this. He did! He said it was the second best gift he's ever got (my painting being the first one).

He got us deep tissue massages at a nice spa in Beverly Hills. It was very relaxing. I really need to make more money so that I can get regular massages. Of course I can't afford the Beverly Hills treatment. But even if I could find some way to come up for the funds to have it done in some cheap, tacky little nail salon where they charge $15 bucks. I think it really makes a big difference for my health. Acne that had started to rise up on my face was gone. I stress out easily, so this was just amazing.

I think he's losing that loving feeling. I'm not complaining, but I find it interesting that he didn't get me a card or flowers. When we were first dating, he got me three bouquets all within the first month. So I thought it was funny he didn't do that, since that's kind of his thing. I loved the spa, but it was just kinda something he wanted for himself anyway. He'd talked all week about how he needed a massage, as work was very stressful. So I was just kinda tacked onto a plan that he would have done for himself had we not been dating. Again, not complaining, just noticing.

Hmmmm....

My Copper IUD

WARNING: If you don't like reading about birth control or issues women deal with "down there", do not read any further!

I had a copper IUD put in on Tuesday. It's awesome because it will hopefully last twelve years!! If everything goes according to plan, I'll never have to worry about birth control again (for twelve years). I had a friend who did it and it actually came out on its own! This is crazy because they attach it to your uterus. The doctor also told me that they don't recommend the copper IUD for women who've never had children because often our body rejects the IUD and tries to push it out. You can end up with a torn uterus, which is a little scary. But I'm hoping that doesn't happen here. Most times the body will accept it, and there shouldn't be a problem. It sounds like it's the most effective form of birth control there is, outside of abstinence. It's more than 99% effective. I was going to just stick with my old birth control, which is also very effective, but the difference between 1 out of 100 people getting pregnant on it and 8 out of 100 people getting pregnant on it becomes pretty huge if you are one of those eight people.

This is probably too much information, but I'll dish anyway... the procedure was a little painful. Imagine your worst menstrual cramps and double that. They put it in while you're on your period (on my 2nd day). It makes it easier if your cervix is already open I guess. I should have been fine, but I wasn't. Totally in pain... horrible cramping... I spent the rest of the day home with cramps, clutching a hot water bottle thingy. I read online that it makes your period heavier and crampier, and they were right. This may be a monthly occurrence- I may cramp once a month for a few days (when Aunt Flo visits), but that's what Ibuprofen is for, I suppose.

So here I am. After the initial cramping on the first day, I feel great. I'm very happy with my decision, and love that if I don't have any problems, I'll save a lot of time and money by not having to worry about it. Also, I've realized that I don't do well with hormones. The copper IUD doesn't have any hormones in it, and I feel like I'm starting to return to myself. Maybe I'm just making excuses for my past behavior or imagining things, but I never quite felt like myself when I was on birth control hormones. I felt so crazy. I feel super mellow now and just very peaceful. It's just nice to feel like you're in your own skin again. And that's the best part for me. I'm also hoping that I lose the weight that I gained when I was on hormonal birth control (NuvaRing, which is also pretty good and has low doses of hormones, but still more than I'm used to).

I spent the day yesterday with my boyfriend and his son. I worked on my paperwork while they played video games. Apparently his mom has been working with him on his behavior at school and the teacher has stopped calling (for now). I can't believe I was so hard on that kid before. Sure he's a little spoiled, but he's only six, so I should just take it with a grain of salt. At least when he says obnoxious things he's kind of clever about it. Plus, he's actually very sweet to me (as long as I don't seem to soak up too much of his dad's dough), so I should enjoy it while I can, before he becomes a teenager and decides he hates me.

Mellow yellow...