So, as you know, I signed up for a dating site. When I feel like a guy isn't the right match for me, I like to take the time and explain why. I reason that if the shoe were on the other foot, I would want to know why I was being rejected. But the thing is that if they even bothered to read my very succinct profile, they would already know why we weren't a fit. My sister tells me I should stop responding and just let them figure it out. No answer is your answer. And after a tedious week of defending my life choices to annoyed and sometimes insulting men, I think that she's right. So, fellas, if you ever wonder why you never get a response either way from a gal, it's because doing the nice and courteous thing is just asking to get verbally spit on. And who wants to sign up for that?
HIM:
"Hey there,I just got back from a 4 month trip to Central America and caught sight of your profile...let me know if you are interested.
Zev"
| * ME: "Hey Zev, You're obviously very attractive, but I'm looking for someone who doesn't want kids. Best wishes, SBW" * HIM: "Why, do you want to get married anytime soon...otherwise lets just meet and have fun...go with the flow...don't put pressure on anyone." * ME: "It would be nice to date someone with whom there is at least the potential of something long-term and permanent. I just don't see the benefit of doing the casual thing. One of two things happen: 1. It's casual and we have a lot of fun and eventually move on and are both okay with it, but I waste time- I've heard that the older I get, the harder it will be to find men (oh so fickle about age!), or 2. Someone gets hurt. Best wishes." * HIM: "It doesnt sound like you are serious...you just want to fool around and not got married and then not have kids...are you unable to? why would you want to get married and not have kids?" * ME: "Not sure what you're talking about. I never said I wanted to just fool around (I said the opposite and explained why a casual relationship is no good) and I never said I had to get married. I said I would like something long-term and permanent (for example, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have a great set-up). If you think the only reason to be with someone is only either sex or procreation, I am sad for you. While those things are nice (or at least the first one is nice), there is something to be said for companionship, emotional bonding and growing old together. I said I didn't want anything casual. In hindsight, I realize that I shouldn't have responded at all. I was merely trying to be polite by explaining my reasons, but we're obviously on different wavelengths. This will be my last response. Best wishes. p.s. And no, I'm not unable to have kids. I am able and unwilling. Not every woman wants to sign up for that hell." * Editor's Note: Perhaps the P.S. was going too far. I didn't need to call it "hell." I should have recognized that it might be an incendiary word to use. But I was getting annoyed that he kept asking questions when he wasn't listening to the answer. * HIM: "that hell...you should be ashamed...if it weren't for procreation you wouldn't be alive...what a farce you have made of marriage... * That's the end of our correspondence. I was too *ashamed* to respond. Ladies, if you don't contribute to the world's overpopulation problem, you should be ashamed! Your womb doesn't belong to you, so how dare you have the audacity to try and plan your life. Better leave such decisions to the mens. Who wouldn't want to have kids, when there are dumb asses like Zev populating the earth to keep your future progeny company? And yeah, I used his real first name. He's such a b*tch punk @ss, anyone who knows a Zev should know that if he lives in Los Angeles and is really cute, there is a chance that he's the one I'm writing about here and is dumber than a bag of rocks. Where did I say that I wanted to get married? I NEVER said that. In fact, I said that I never said that, and yet he continues to believe I said it. What is he smoking? Anyway, I think he was just pissed because he wanted to "toot it and boot it" as the kids say these days, and I wasn't down for a casual hook-up. Anyway, after this week I will no longer feel guilt if I don't respond. He wasn't the only one who argued with me, but he was the only one who was so dense about it. I removed myself one of the sites and will remove myself from the other one as soon as I technically can (long story)- hopefully by Monday. Need a reprieve from the crazies. | |
