Credit Card Hell

Okay, so I'm going to put it all out there. Credit card debt= 28K. Got a little behind on some of my payments this summer when I couldn't get temp work (studios have a hiring freeze). Subbing work usually doesn't pick up until October, so hanging in there until then. Anyway, my bank panicked when they realized I was a few months behind on my payments and offered/ threatened to write off my debts as a bad debt, since this year it's easy for them since they received Federal money to cover that. They told me they would settle with me for $10,000 if I could pay that by this December, with my first payment on Tuesday. My brothers offered up a combined total of $4,500.00. This wasn't enough for the bank, so they lowered their offer to $7,500.00, but it still doesn't look like I'll be able to make the $3,000 difference. Part of me thinks I should take up the offer, but without all my ducks in a row, that's way too big a gamble.

It's dangerous because if I'm lucky enough to land a job and make great money that will allow me to pay the 3k by December, then I'm worried they might withdraw their offer, and then there I am back with my 30K debt, and the ruined 3 year credit (due to my non-payments) that I already have if I settle with them. And yeah, I dug the hole so it's my responsibility, and completely my fault... and I have no problem facing the consequences, as any adult should. BUT I will say that the banks were very tricky throughout the ten + years I've had the loan and screwed me over at every corner and opportunity possible... I've probably only charged $10,000.00 total, but because of the snowballing interest over the years at various high interest rates... at one time as high as 30% due to some of the crappy stunts they pulled on me (one example: due date of payment falls on a Saturday... I used to work for a bank and they would post the payments on a Saturday if you came in and paid in cash... apparently, the rules changed because I tried to do that, and they wouldn't accept it. Counted it as late and slapped a $300 late fee to boot, and hiked up my interest by 10%)... so don't think I feel too bad for them! And yes, I should have taken care of this a long time ago, but I didn't, and here I am. A part of the problem! Shame!

Anyway, still plotting and planning and looking down a few avenues. After I pay this crap off (IF I ever live to see the day that is), I will never touch a credit card again. Oh. My. God. It's just been hell. I call them back on Monday. Wish me luck!

Community

I met my BF's best friend for the first time last night. He was nice, and his girlfriend was nice, but very ill-suited for him.

I told my BF about my mountain of credit card debt. He took it in stride and said it wasn't that bad. I think he thought it was a lot, but was just trying to be nice.

Pretty boring week... too sick to go into work but well enough to go to my community college classes... still shaking something off.

Oh, and I changed my mind. I don't think I like being bossy anymore. It gets old. I can barely run my life... why would I want to run somebody else's, too? In any event, I'm a mess and don't think I'm qualified to run anyone's business!

Be Popular

I finally joined Facebook. It's fun.

I had some sort of 24 hour bug. I realized something was amiss when I found myself standing in the middle of a Farmer's Market on a beautiful, warm sunny Saturday wearing a winter coat and still shivering violently... a few people saw me and steered clear, so I left promptly. Waited for my BF in the parking lot while he finished shopping. He brought back flowers for me from one of the vendors, and then took me back to his place and waited on me hand and foot. He didn't give me a little bell, though, so I just whipped out my cell phone and called him whenever I needed anything... Could you fluff my pillows? j/k. I tried not to be too demanding, and I slept for most of the time, but I did get a massage or two ; )

Anyway, feeling all better now.

I read an article this morning in the NY Times that will change my life, as it has changed my whole philosophy and perspective on friendship. Before today, my goal has been to limit my number of friends. I thought it was healthier to have a small group of friends that I spent all my time with and energy on, but now I'm going to aspire to have as many friends as possible. You might say, "Duh, everyone knows you can never have too many friends." But knowing and having experienced all the flakiness that comes with having superficial friendships, I disagreed with that theory and fought against it. But today I've turned over a new leaf. While I plan to maintain my core of tried-and-true close-knit friends for life, I'll no longer veer from superficial friendships, as long as they bring something to the table. And most everyone has something to offer.

Anyway, here's an excerpt of the article:

"The subconscious nature of emotional mirroring might explain one of the more curious findings in their research: If you want to be happy, what’s most important is to have lots of friends. Historically, we have often thought that having a small cluster of tight, long-term friends is crucial to being happy. But Christakis and Fowler found that the happiest people in Framingham were those who had the most connections, even if the relationships weren’t necessarily deep ones.

The reason these people were the happiest, the duo theorize, is that happiness doesn’t come only from having deep, heart-to-heart talks. It also comes from having daily exposure to many small moments of contagious happiness. When you frequently see other people smile — at home, in the street, at your local bar — your spirits are repeatedly affected by your mirroring of their emotional state. Of course, the danger of being highly connected to lots of people is that you’re at risk of encountering many people when they are in bad moods. But Christakis and Fowler say their findings show that the gamble of increased sociability pays off, for a surprising reason: Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness. According to their statistical analysis, each additional happy friend boosts your good cheer by 9 percent, while each additional unhappy friend drags you down by only 7 percent. So by this logic, adding more links to your network should — mathematically — add to your store of happiness. “If you’re at the center of a network, you are going to be more susceptible to anything that spreads through it,” Fowler said. “And if happiness is spreading more reliably, then on average you’re going to be catching happy waves more often than you catch sad waves.”

The whole article is here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/magazine/13contagion-t.html?pagewanted=1

I'm Bossy

I had a colonic on Saturday. I did it in solidarity with my boyfriend... I thought he should get one, but he didn't want to do it alone. He said he would do it if I went first, so I agreed to be the guinea pig. It wasn't that bad... when the water is being pumped into you (up your butt) there's just a really uncomfortable, full feeling... like if you're really sick (#2) and running to the bathroom, praying you'll make it in time. The colon therapist told me that I needed to chew my food more slowly and thoroughly (he pointed out what he saw in the tube), and that I needed to work on my liver functions (drink more water and cut down on the alcohol.. which is totally true and something I never told him). While the health benefits of colonics are controversial and often disputed, even if it did absolutely nothing for our health (or worse), the earful we got when we were there was worth the money. He gave us both a stern (yet loving) lecture about what we were doing wrong, and really inspired us to clean up our acts. Added benefit: I dropped five pounds from it.

The reason why I thought the BF should get a colonic is because his blood pressure and cholesterol are too high. As in he-should-be-on-medication high. He wants to lower it naturally, so I've been recreating his whole way of life... he's now exercising regularly and is on a proper diet. Soon he'll be doing yoga and getting regular massages and acupuncture treatments. It's funny because in the beginning, I really tried to refrain from telling him what to do. Guys hate being ordered around (so I read), so I held back my natural tendencies to run his life. But surprisingly, he's really pushed and cajoled me to give him advice and hold his feet to the fire. He actually seems to appreciate and like it. Who'd have thunk it that he wanted a bossy woman?! And here I've been biting my tongue for the last few months, trying not to scare him away. My motto was "Whatever makes you happy." But if I had known that he wanted a bossy woman, I would have let my bossy flag fly a long time ago! I really love telling people what to do, and really believe I give great advice (but who doesn't?). Already, he's dropped ten pounds and his blood pressure is down ten points, so at least I'm not an idiot and bossy... just opinionated and willing to share my thoughts.

Had a great weekend. We went to a good friend's birthday party on Friday night (a 3-hour cruise around the harbor) and out to dinner with another good friend (and four of her friends) on Saturday. We also saw an old documentary called "Who Killed the Electric Car"? If you haven't seen it, I really encourage you to do so! It's been on my to-watch list for years, and I'm so glad I finally got around to watching it!

I should start on my homework now.