Had a little disagreement with my BF on Saturday. Every time I think about it, it just makes me sick. When we first met, he told me that his politics were financially conservative and socially liberal, but he is not socially liberal. Every day I'm realizing how conservative he really is (and sorry to all you conservatives out there), and it really horrifies me. He just sounds like such a bigot on certain issues. Other than that, he's perfect and perfect for me, but it's really hard for me to believe that I'm dating someone who has his unenlightened opinions. If he had told me how he felt about this certain issue on the first date, there would have been no second date. I even remember asking him about it, but he nimbly side-stepped the question, and I didn't even realize at the time that he didn't adequately answer it. And now, it feels too late to pull out now. I really love him and don't have the strength to break up. If I had any moral character, I would find the backbone to do it. But I really don't want to break up with him. But I really don't share the same outlook on the world, and it's hard for me to really respect his point of view. In fact, I don't. So it's hard. Right now we've agreed to just not discuss politics, but I'm really wrestling with this.
I feel like men are always tricking me! I see their true colors months or years into the relationship. I wish they would just be more upfront and honest about who they really are from the get-go.
:( i think i know how you feel abt politics. yeah, agreeing not to talk about it might be the best way to go but like you, it continues to nibble away at me. sigh. hope things work out.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Z! Yeah, I thought you might understand. Ditto... hope things work out for you, too.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you can show people the light, too, yanno?
ReplyDeleteTrue, Avitable, true. You're ever the optimist!
ReplyDeleteListen, sister, unemployment is making me check your blog daily for entertainment/distraction, so can you please post more regularly? Your blog delights me and I enjoy catching up with you through it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's good that you didn't know his viewpoints right off the bat. I mean, you two obviously have more common ground than uncommon ground, so why let a little thing like politics get in the way? Ok, that's my Pollyanna response. I can also relate to how you're feeling b/c there are some non-negotiable issues in my book and I would struggle if someone I dated held a different pov on those. If I were you, I would argue your pov until he finally submits b/c it's easier than disagreeing! Or just agree to disagree and avoid the topic?
Ha ha, Kara... okay, just for your unemployed ass, I'm going to post some extras this week! I've totally been there : ) Homegirl needs a small break from the job hunting!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think, KaraBear, but getting him to "submit" is not an easy task! On one hand it's nice he's not my puppet, but on the other hand, it would be nice to have a puppet! Respect or control? I think I'd prefer to respect him, even if I don't respect his opinions. I think we'll just have to agree to disagree, as we're both incredibly stubborn.
Biggotry is disgusting. I agree with Adam and Kara, bring him to the light, then make his submit! I think the key to this might be repeated exposure to certain situations, people, media, etc. This can allow him to save his ego, and he'll probably be more receptive to it, and less apt to feel as if it's his girlfriend, simply harping away at him.
ReplyDeleteI'll chant that in my head anytime he says something that pisses me off... "Bring him to the light, make him submit." That will be my personal mantra now. Thanks, Boog : )
ReplyDelete