In other news, my boyfriend and I broke up on Monday. Then we went out for a friendly dinner on Friday and have plans to hang out again on Monday- as friends. I have to say that I am a really great breaker-upper. It's one of my few skills. My sister overheard my end of the conversation and she now calls me The Break Up Artist. And she is right. If I ever break up with you, you will feel better about yourself than you did when we were together. In fact, you might even feel better about yourself than you ever have in your entire life! I will give a list of reasons why you're awesome, and why I'll miss you, and then I get to the nitty-gritty without getting too personal or pointing any fingers. There will be no grey. You will know definitively that it is over. And you'll be okay with it. I'm like the relationship version of George Clooney's character in "Up in the Air".
To my delight, he was a really great breaker-upper, too, and it was very mutual. The love was lost long, long ago... many, many months ago. He's been getting on my last nerve ever since then. And yet after we talked, I cried all night, and for a good part of the next morning, but then after I got it out of my system, I was really happy, and very relieved. We really are two very different people. Two very incompatible people. And the funny thing is after we broke up, I noticed at dinner that I liked and appreciated him a lot more. His bad jokes didn't get on my nerves as much, and his groupthink values didn't get my goat. So I think we'll make really awesome friends, hanging out and what not.
In a nutshell, he didn't want to be with me because he wants a girl he can go to church with. And I want someone I can watch Bill Maher with, or at least question the world with. So, back to the drawing board!
Men are like buses... miss one, next one coming...
Old people are a hoot- you never know what you're gonna get with them! In this case- pretty gross- but wow- who would've predicted she'd try the feces facial.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the "Men are like buses", in fact, I think I have that written down somewhere. I first saw it in Glamour or some mag like that. Hell, maybe the next one even has a faster driver, and less crazy people on it. Okay, I'm getting away from the analogy a bit here, but point is the next one (or several down the road) is likely to be the next one, a la "the blow off" study. Mr. Groupthink seems like a fun, amiable guy, for a FRIEND. I believe your match will be more of a critical thinker, with a more creative approach to life.
Well, I'm glad everything's okay, but it's still understandable to cry. :)
ReplyDelete:) you are so level-headed sometimes it makes me envious! yes, you totally need someone who is more reflective and sensitive to the injustices of the world. there's no way we can pretend that they aren't there and he started to sound like he had cotton wool in his ears sometimes. i'm very glad you've both come to a conclusion about it in some ways.
ReplyDeletei'm glad also that you've mourned the ending of the r/ship even as you celebrate its new beginning as a friendship! well, here's to the next bus!!!! :)
I am really sorry to hear about your break-up, but when it's not right, it's not right, and there is no happiness in faking it. You are a sharp cookie and I agree that you need someone who can see through all of the bullshit that this world has to offer and question it right along with you. Hell, you don't need a guy to watch Bill Maher with -- you need Bill Maher himself! You should do some research and find out what bus route he's on!
ReplyDeleteBooga- Feces facial, hilarious! Yeah, let's hope my next match is! Actually, he will be, or it won't be a match!
ReplyDeleteAvitable- Absolutely!
Z- Me? Level-headed?! Ha! If you knew how many times I was going to break up with him and then changed my mind, you wouldn't be saying that! I'm a total spazz. Thanks! Yes, here's to the next bus : )
Kara- I would love to date Bill Maher, although he has quite a reputation! But as Tracy Chapman says, "But you know bad press has never scared me off." I've heard he has a serious girlfriend now, though. Listen to me! Speaking as if it's an actual possibility, ha ha!