TRAINERS AND TAMERS

Tuesday night I had drinks with Gallagher.

High points:

He agreed to meet in a local artsy dive bar.  I really love this place, so threw it in the list of options I gave him (which annoys me that I had to do that).  I thought maybe his inner performance artist would bite, and to my glee, he did.  I've tried getting other dates to go there, but they just laughed like I was kidding, and picked somewhere nice and classy to take me... ultimately, I'm glad that the others brought me somewhere nice.  I guess I've just wanted to go to that dive bar for awhile now, and needed to get it out of my system, for some unknown reason.  But yeah, generally, let's keep it classy.

We laughed a lot.  Beginning was awkward and slow, but after a few drinks we were really slapping our knees.  The caveat is that after a few drinks, I think everyone is hilarious and slap my knees at everything.  And I really turn on and let loose.  So it wasn't necessarily him.  But he was sweet and present and said things that made me laugh when I was drunk, so I guess that's something.

We told a lot of very personal things.  Again, I'd had a few drinks- two.  And they were very stiff.  I told the waitress to stop after one, but she brought a second one anyway.  I guess my inner alcoholic couldn't turn down a drink when it was plunked right in front of me.  I can't believe the stuff that was coming out of my mouth.  And his, too.  SHOCKING secret kind of stuff.  That's what happens when I get around artsy types, though.  They have no filters, so I take mine down, too.  It was fun to disclose so much on a first date, but it's definitely playing with fire and not something I'll repeat.  I probably scared him off.  I kinda hope so, cuz...

Low points:

Didn't walk me to my car.  I was parked in front.  He was parked in back.  At the end of the date, we exited via the side entrance and hugged good-bye right there.  He went his way and I walked back alone to my car.  It wasn't the best neighborhood, so maybe he was worried about his own safety.  But if he had walked me to my car, I would have driven him to his own.  Booo!  That's a HUGE no-no for me.  That's a technical foul that will almost always elicit an automatic break-up e-mail from me.

Also, we met for drinks-only at dinner time.  This place has killer food (and very cheap drinks), but since he hadn't offered dinner, I had to shovel some food in my mouth at home before the date.  I was still a little hungry when I got there, though, and had to suffer through watching other people order delicious dishes.  I thought about ordering something there anyway, but I would either have had to pay for it, which might upset him (and would annoy me on a first date), or he would think I engineered the whole thing so that I could get more out of him than he'd offered.  So I just ignored the grumbling in my stomach and drank up.

I had to set up the actual date (find and e-mail the location options, etc.).  He moves soooo slow and just kept ping-ponging the work back on me.  I just got so annoyed and frustrated as the clock was winding down and needed to plan my outfits for the week, so I gave him a list of options since he obviously wasn't going to do it.  He told me that when he read my break down of choices he was like, "Omigod, this girl is great!"  So now he probably expects me to do all the grunt work.  Yeah, I know how to run a tight ship, loser.  That doesn't mean I like it!  My thing is, women usually end up doing all that stuff anyway, later in the relationship, so the one time when we CAN be taken care of, we SHOULD.  And we should enjoy it, guilt free.  'Cuz it's all down hill after that!  I gathered from his juicy stories that he's dated a lot of cougars.  He's probably looking for a mommy type.  If so, keep it steppin' honey!

And last, but certainly not least... I think he might be gay.  We never spoke on the phone, oddly... all arrangements were done via e-mail.  I think if I had spoken with him on the phone, I might not have accepted the date.  There's something very effeminate about him.  He uses his hands a lot.  His voice has a ton of inflection, and his general mannerisms and pitch are just not what I'm used to.

If he's not gay, he's a feminine-energy man who will try to be the princess in the relationship.  We can't have two!  Two princesses does not work!  I'm hoping he doesn't ask me out again, because I'll probably accept, sadly.  The thing is, he's the ONLY guy who matched 5 out of 5 of my little non-negotiables.  So, I'd like for it to work.  It's really great on paper!  Maybe I'm just being too closed-minded about gender roles and identity... dunno.  We'll see...

He's a guy I'd have to train.  I think most women don't mind either training a man or taming a man, but few women can or want to do both.  I HATE training men.  I don't like to do it, and try to avoid men I have to train.  It makes me feel like their mother.  But taming a wild man, that's something I don't mind doing, or at least TRYING to do.  I've been thrown off many a wild bronco, but every time I learn something and get a little closer to domesticating one.  It's fun... digging in your heels and riding it out.  I will tame a wild stallion of a man.  Oh yes, I will!  He shall be mine.  To hell with those little puppies, training them.  If you're going to roll up your sleeves and put some real work in, at least tame you a wild stallion!  Even if you get thrown off, you'll have had the ride of your life ; ) 

    

I know I said I was taking this weekend off, but after I broke up with Night Man, I had a surge of energy!  People either inspire me or they tire me.  Apparently, he tired me.  But now that he's out of the picture, I'm brimming with energy and can't wait to see Mr. Show Biz and Daddy Warbucks.  I'm seeing them Friday and Sunday, respectively.  Sushi Fanatic also wants to meet up this weekend, but the only day left is Saturday and I have a busy line-up of personal ish to take care of then.