I've been dying to email Speed Racer and ask him what the deal was with him standing me up, but I practiced a little restraint and didn't reach out. So last night I was very surprised when I saw the following message from him. It made me feel a little better about the situation, because I thought maybe I went wrong somewhere. Maybe I did, and he's just being polite, but I really don't think so. I'm willing to believe him on this one (because I want to!).
Dating men is so much like the acting industry... you go out on auditions and if you don't get it, it's easy to agonize over every detail- how you said hi, how you dressed, how maybe the inflection you used on that one word was just a bit too much... you're sure you didn't book the spot or show because you wore the wrong shoes, or because you were too exuberant or boring in your delivery. You're just sure it's something you did. And sometimes it is. But sometimes the director just doesn't like you because you look like his wicked step-mother or something. And you just never know.
So, anyway... his email:
I guess I should explain. I'm not ready to start dating again. Ugh! That sounds so cliche! I never thought I would be saying those words. Those are words I usually hear. I will believe that next time i hear it and be more sympathetic. My last relationship ended, it will be a year June 1st. I'm ok, and over it, and and really glad it ended, it would have been a lot worse had we gotten married. I later found out she had been married 3 times before. I guess after that I'm a little gunshy. I am sorry for not calling, that was not right. It was not right to make plans and just disregard you.
Speed Racer
My response:
Hi Speed Racer,
Trust me, I once hovered over the remains of a dead relationship for years, so I totally understand where you're at. And three marriages, yowzers! Well, I do appreciate the explanation. That's very classy of you.
Best of luck,
LB Woman
End scene.
That's good to know, and that's classy of him to follow up like that.
ReplyDeleteI think you were too kind. He shouldn't have led you on until the very last nano second. As for your acting comparison, I think your could be right. My idealistic advice would be to be yourself in both scenarios so that even if things don't work out, you won't obsess over how else you could have done things. Then you can have hope that what's mean to be will be. Cornball, I know.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, Avitable. Water under the bridge...
ReplyDeleteOh, Rita... you're ice cold! Ha ha, I did think about writing a scathing response, but I was just so relieved that it wasn't something I did that I think my happiness showed : )
Well, I do always try to be myself... but the question in acting and dating is, which version? Maybe it's the actress in me, but I have all kinds of clothes in my closet... preppy clothes, upscale clothes, slightly skanky clothes (that never see the light of day unless I'm playing a role), stoner clothes, beach clothes, hip hop... maybe I'm suffering from multiple personality disorder, but I think all of them reflect a facet of my personality. And when I go out for an audition, I choose the facet of my personality that I think will best embody the role they're trying to cast. And when I choose what to wear on a date, I choose the outfit that best reflects the atmosphere we're going to be in. Etcetera...
And I don't try to be someone else when I meet someone new. But sometimes different energies and personalities draw that same energy out of me.
Word! I got you. Life is not black and white and I remember telling someone who tried explaining that their Myspace persona wasn't the real them that it wasn't the "whole" them, but it was the part of them who was willing to be viewed in that way. Not the whole them, but a real part of them. I don't know the firat thing about acting but I bet when you start clicking with someone, you'll "know."
ReplyDeleteExactly. You got it, Rita!
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm hoping... that I'll just "know"...