ALIAS: MODEL MAN, ZOOLANDER, MUFFIN MAN, ENFORCER
I wrote the Muffin Man Enforcer an email this morning, canceling our date tonight. I followed up with a text in the afternoon to ensure that he'd read it. He texted back "Already read it." So, that's that.
He's really cute- HOT and seems really nice, and it's hard to pinpoint exactly what the problem was, but I just felt it in my gut. Nothing glaring, but just a lot of small red flags. They eventually accumulate and add up to= just don't go there. I don't think he was a dangerous man with nefarious intentions. Most likely, he just wanted me to park in the parking lot so that he could attempt to make out with me at the end of the date without worrying about indecent exposure or something harmless like that. Dunno. I'll never know. But he disregarded and ignored my safety concerns. And just because you're in law enforcement, doesn't give you carte blanche with my trust.
At the end of the day, I can live with driving a little bit out of my way on the first date. I won't like it AT ALL (strike one), but if you have a reason why, or make it up to me on the second date, I can deal with it. But not telling me the name of the restaurant (a place he's mentioned all week that he really likes) and arranging things so that I couldn't park outside of said restaurant is too manipulative on his part. Even if they were silly manipulations, I don't like it. He should have communicated his reasons why he wanted to meet me in a parking structure, other than it's close to the mall and restaurants... uh, I think the mall parking lot would be even closer! It left me with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. So, that's that. I have zero regrets.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, he was a bad listener. Correction- he was good at sitting silently, listening, but he lacked active listening skills. He wouldn't really respond with statements or questions when I said something. And I understand talking with a lot of men isn't the same as gabbing with your girlfriends, but they should at least pretend a little bit that they're listening (even "oh?" would have been awesome!). It was like he was just waiting for his turn to talk again.
In any event, case closed.
And then there were five.
Good for you. Sounds like you made the right call.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think that was the right decision. Do you really know if that picture was even what he looked like? It's good that you went with your gut.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Anonymous. Yeah, I'm happy with my decision.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Avitable. And yeah, that's the thing! You never know. Someone could easily make up their entire profile, including pics!
I am proud of you for following your instincts, LBW. If you don't feel comfortable with a person or situation, there is no need to second guess yourself. I read this in a book once and found it to be true: women are the only creatures on earth who will feel fear and then try to ignore or rationalize it. When animals feel fear, they automatically go into fight or flight mode, for self-preservation. When in doubt, follow your gut!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kara! And thank you for telling me to read "The Gift of Fear" years ago... it's really helped me to not second guess myself in that way. It's so crazy how we as women will try to excuse things and ignore things that could put is in dangerous situations.
ReplyDelete