RIP Mama Alice

Went to a funeral yesterday for my great aunt.  Other than viewing her body, it was the least depressing funeral I've ever been to.  My cousin and another woman gave very beautiful and funny speeches (the others were forgettable) and it was at a Baptist church, so of course the choir there was really great.  One young woman's voice really brought down the house.  It made me sad that because she was at least 15 pounds overweight, she'll probably never really see "the big time" (although anything can happen).  We're such a visual culture that what we hear with our EARS is determined by our EYES.  That just seems the height of insanity and ignorance.  She could out-sing most of the tone-deaf, electro-voiced song birds on the Top 40 today, but it just doesn't matter because she has "wobbly bits", as the British like to say.

But anyway, one of the ministers was something else.  He started talking about basically quantum physics and how for the recently departed, where time doesn't exist in the after-life, she is with us (or them- those who believe), her loved ones right now- in our future.  He went into great detail about the mechanics of this, speaking with great certainty, conviction and knowledge, all the while wiggling his outstretched fingers and swaying slightly side to side.  As an Agnostic, I felt like I was reliving last week's "Lost" episode, and I didn't really buy what he was saying, but I was really impressed with his magicianship.  He really cast a spell on us all, and provided great comfort to the believers.  And who knows, maybe he was right...  I need to find a constant!  ("Lost" joke).

Speaking of churches, this brings me to my dating results.  I've been trying to figure out why so few black men have responded to my profile (I need to devote an entire blog to race, because I have a lot to say on this, but at a later time).  And I think it's my lack of religion.  There aren't very many Agnostic Black Americans.   The few Black men who have contacted me were religious but willing to overlook what they surely see as a flaw.  Not ONE wasn't Christian (love the double-negative?).  I liked all of them, except for that.  They promised to not preach to me or try to convert me, but I just know it will be an issue.  I'm on the fence about moving forward.  Part of me thinks that I should be more lenient and open about it, but that's kind of why I'm so exhausted... I keep making exceptions and bending the rules a little if I like everything else about them... but then those things keep nagging at me in the back of my mind.  So maybe if I just stuck to my fundamentals (faith or lack thereof, my four desired zodiac signs (yeah, I know), an age limit, etc.), the process wouldn't be as overwhelming and tiring.

Just thinking out loud here.